5 more days...

... the time is drawing nigh, children.... the gathering is about to start.. sweet Kelley is so excited she's just about to bust... Lila too, is right there... as for me, I too, am getting excited... however, it is dawning on me that... well... many of us bloggers who will be gathering in the dark Georgia Mountains to party-down... well, we might not know where to start... so, here are a few helpful hints for the upcoming Blogtoberfest...

... number one.. .if you are a Veteran, you'd better have your challenge coin... I'll have mine... and, I like to drink.. word...

... number two.. if you are a male.. and, you are bringing a significant peripheral... you are well warned to keep them away from Rob, and Adam.. I'd say Kim too, but I'm sure Mrs. Velociman will keep him on a short leash... hell, on second thought, keep them away from Kim too... I, on the other hand, am quite harmless...

... number three.. do not mention SEC Football under any circumstances... this will cause mass pandemonium.. and, quite likely, some bloodshed... and, the last thing we want is the Chattahoochee River flowing with blood this close to Halloween...

... number four... Hillbilly, Cracker, and Redneck jokes should be fired out quite a bit... early on... but, they should be strictly prohibited after the evening whistle sounds... once again.. this is done in the interest of public safety... drunk Hillbillies, Crackers, and Rednecks can be wily and mean after a douse of alcohol...

... number five... under no circumstances should you EVER say anything along the lines of.... "I haven't seen this many Yankees in Georgia since Sherman waltzed through".... again, gentle ones, this will likely cause instantaneous combustion of a few bloggers... and, a severely violent action from a few others... hey, I am here to help...

... number six... if Dax offers you a Red Headed Slut, take it.... trust me.. also, if there is any Georgia or Tennessee 'shine present... be brave, little ones... you'll thank yourself for it later...

... number seven... Do NOT talk to Key about spanking, Blood Mountain, or Dahlonega... she gets quite blustery when she's flustered... and, although it is a thing of beauty, it is also quite startling...

... number eight... after the evening whistle, ask Kelley to sing a duet of "Bobby McGhee" with Georgia... again, children, this cannot be done often enough... with enough liquor, those two can sing the house down....

... number nine... Acidman's hair is SILVER... not gray.... Do not make the same mistake I made at Caruso's Pub.. word, my babies... SILVER....

... and, finally... number ten... enjoy yourselves... we are all here because we want to be together... so, have a few drinks... roll with the punches... enjoy the laughter... and, prepare for some good times.... I can't wait for October 15th, and the chance to meet some old friends... and, some new ones...

by Eric on October 10, 2004 | Bullshit (15) | Psycho Rants
» Gut Rumbles links with: blogtoberfest
» Dog Snot Diaries links with: The Great Yankee Invasion
» Dog Snot Diaries links with: Blogtoberfest
» suburban blight links with: La Lista:
» Parkway Rest Stop links with: Blogtoberfest Begins Tomorrow!
Bullshit So Far

Well said, Eric.

Wish I were going to be there with ya'll.

Bullshitted by Christina on October 10, 2004 07:31 PM

I'm truly sorry I couldn't make it. I know it will be a very good time. So many silver tounged devils, and one "silver" haired devil to boot.

Guard that rig Eric, after that "T" ambush of the vehicle you posted last week, it's gonna be fresh on the minds... payback might be a bitch.

Bullshitted by BryanH on October 10, 2004 08:34 PM

Speaking of hair, mine is salt and pepper, more salt than pepper these days. However, it is SILVER salt.

I am stoked, as is my bodyguard, driver, and friend, Ken, the Anal Cruise Director.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on October 10, 2004 08:54 PM

Right on. I look forward to all the documentation from the various attendees on their respective sites. Sounds like things could get ugly quite quickly and stay that way for the duration.

I shall be representing the great State of my birth, Mississippi, in spirit, if not in person. Perhaps next year......

Drop a little rock candy in the corn squeezins for the first timers. It'll help with the initial shock.

Have fun.

Bullshitted by bitterman on October 10, 2004 09:07 PM

It's more like a choke collar. By the by, A&E showed Deliverance today. I never get tired of that flick, although I am consistently bummed that Voight doesn't get to take the meat whistle. That's just me, though.

Bullshitted by Velociman on October 10, 2004 09:48 PM

I'm so bummed. My plans for this weekend just changed and I was going to surprise ya'll and drive up. Not A Room To Be Had!!!!

So....I'll just sit here and drink, and try to imagine how much fun ya'll are havin'. Damn Damn Damn customer's anyway! :(

Bullshitted by Tammi on October 11, 2004 08:21 AM

Tammi, you can stay in MY room. That way, I may not try to molest Mrs. Velociman.

Bullshitted by Acidman on October 11, 2004 08:43 AM

... *sigh* ... Have fun - wish I could be there... Unlike Tammi, I don't live close enough to change my plans and get down there and now I don't even have Tammi there to phone in reports. LOL So have a drink for me. And I hope you plan on posting pics for the rest of us marooned in the nether regions of the country.

Bullshitted by Teresa on October 11, 2004 09:29 AM

Oh I envy ya'll...I'm a Georgia girl livin in Germany and I'm so homesick I could just spit...mmmmm..mmmm I can smell the boiled peanuts from.

Bullshitted by Sandy on October 11, 2004 04:22 PM

Yep, I'll admit it - I'm psyched. Toe-up from the floe-up. Are you bringing Mrs. Straight White Guy this time, Eric? I sure would like to meet her someday, if not this weekend.

Mr. Blight - Pete - has a class reunion this weekend, so he can't accompany me. Key's my date!

Hey, and has anyone heard from Adam? Does he need a ride from the airport? He is coming, right...? I'm'a sign off and send him an e-mail right this minute.

Looking forward to seeing all y'all again...and to meeting the new faces...

Bullshitted by kelley on October 11, 2004 04:57 PM

.. she's coming, Kelley... she's a bit nervous.. but, she's coming... still, be gentle... remember, she's foreign... they don't have the parts locally to fix her if she gets broken...

Bullshitted by Eric on October 11, 2004 05:43 PM

you forgot to tell all the ladies to paint their toe nails red for Acidman... sound's like you folks are going to have a blast...

Bullshitted by oakleytexas on October 12, 2004 12:30 AM

The Catfish is coming with Rob, he wanted me to be his body guard and I am also a Georgia Blogger, see you there, Cat.

Bullshitted by Catfish on October 12, 2004 01:37 PM

Rules, I don't need no stinking rules. BTW rookie if that challenge coin hits the bar and everybody has one you get to buy.


Bullshitted by recondo32 on October 13, 2004 12:46 AM

The carpetbaggers are coming!

I'll abide by the rules, just don't make me eat grits.

Bullshitted by Gordon the Magnificent on October 13, 2004 07:07 PM