... as some of you old crusts might remember, I have just recently been baptized into the Church of Tom Waits... it was a brutal affair, actually.. twas quite a difficult task to gather that much Scotch and cigarette butts together in one antique porcelain bathtub... still, I took the plunge.... hell, I doubt I shall ever be the same again... but, all in all, the fact remains... I am now ordained, my children...
... anyway, as I was funkin to the groovy tunes last weekend, a thought came to mind like a blinding aneurysm... shazaam.... heh... I know exactly what Velociman (most likely poor Velociboy, as well) are up to down in Key West... that well known nest of iniquity and vice... they were livin', baby... Key West style.... so, without further interruption... take it away, Tom...
... shit, I almost forgot.... anyone who knows what a Buffalo Squeeze is gets a dollar... maybe Adam knows... Buffalo River?.. Buffalo Squeeze?.. Adam?... oh, and remember, feel free to sing along... it will make you a better person... honestly...
Smelling like a brewery,
looking like a tramp
I ain't got a quarter
got a postage stamp
Been five o'clock shadow boxing
all around the town
Talking with the old men
sleeping on the ground
Bazanti bootin
al zootin al hoot
and Al Cohn
sharin this apartment
with a telephone pole
and it's a fish-net stockings
spike-heel shoes
Strip tease, prick tease
car keys blues
and the porno floor show
live nude girls
dreamy and creamy
and the brunette curls
Chesty Morgan and a
Watermelon Rose
raise my rent and take off
all your clothes
with the trench coats
magazines bottle full of rum
she's so good, it make
a dead man cum, with
pasties and a g-string
beer and a shot
Portland through a shot glass
and a Buffalo squeeze
wrinkles and cherry
and twinky and pinky
and FeFe live from Gay Paree
fanfares rim shots
back stage who cares
all this hot burlesque for me
cleavage, cleavage thighs and hips
from the nape of her neck
to the lip stick lips
chopped and channeled
and lowered and lured
and a cheater slicks
and baby moons
she's hot and ready
and creamy and sugared
and the band is awful
and so are the tunes
crawlin on her belly shakin like jelly
and I'm getting harder than
Chinese algebraziers and cheers
from the compendium here
hey sweet heart they're yellin for more
squashing out your cigarette butts
on the floor
and I like Shelly
you like Jane
what was the girl with the snake skins name
it's an early bird matinee
come back any day
getcha little sompin
that cha can't get at home
getcha little sompin
that cha can't get at home
pasties and a g-string
beer and a shot
Portland through a shot glass
and a Buffalo squeeze
popcorn, front row
higher than a kite
and I'll be back tomorrow night
and I'll be back tomorrow night
Oh my, SWG, this site is enjoyable not only for the memory lane trips you drive us down.
Ol' 55; Lookin' for the Heart of Saturday Night; and my God how many others. I've got this one Waits live double album that I used to listen to over and over, when you could set your LPs up on the spindle and let them play successively. (Can't recall any more than that and I'm out of town so I can't go play it right now - but when I get home I will). I used to worship in that church.
I remember one of his great monologues about dating yourself - "Hey, you're always around..." - it carried me through adolescence with some mitigation of the teenage boy blues. Thanks Tom, thanks Straight White Guy.
Bullshitted by John Climacus on July 16, 2004 01:20 AMI just woke up and part of the above song came back to me - it was "Better off without a wife" and the album I believe is "Nighthawks at the diner". Highly recommended for all recent converts.
Sleepin in to the crack of noon
Midnights howlin at the moon
Stayin out as long as I want to
Comin home when I please
Want to go out fishin
Don't have ask permission
Never have to ask for the keys
It's a beautiful tune
Bullshitted by John Climacus on July 16, 2004 08:01 AM... thanks, John... I'll check it out... Waits is most assuredly an acquired taste...
Bullshitted by Eric on July 16, 2004 08:08 AMAlas, the only Buffalo squeeze occurred when I pushed out those wings yesterday morning.
Bullshitted by Velociman on July 16, 2004 08:43 PM.. that is truly a pity, Velociman.. another opportunity missed...
Bullshitted by Eric on July 17, 2004 02:42 PMThat was sweet.
Guess I'll have to call my next blog "Pasties & a G-String" :-)
So does that song technically qualify as rap?
Bullshitted by Harvey on July 17, 2004 05:39 PM..anyone else notice the growl Waits does at the beginning?... classic.. and, Harvey.. I think it is classified as Jazz.. no rap here, my man..
Bullshitted by Eric on July 17, 2004 05:51 PMA "Buffalo Squeeze" is the term that originated to describe the driving of a buffalo herd into a canyon with progressively narrowing walls and with no exit (The term is now used to describe using this same process on wild horses). The narrowing walls would slow the herd of stampeding beasts and eventually stop them as the canyon walls finally came together. Now facing the wrong direction and with no escape they were at the mercy of the pursuers.
In the modern idiom we'd recognized Buffalo Squeeze as the origins of "Squeeze Play" 0r "puttin' the 'squeeze' on someone ...