An Introduction..

... since today is Wednesday, I will be spending most of the evening in my garage drinking Scotch and shooting pool... as I do every Wednesday... and, without fail, I try to give you, gentle readers, a rundown of the night's devastation the next day... but today, it suddenly dawned on me that I should probably introduce you to some of the curmudgeonly reprobates who frequent these gatherings.. so, here they are.. in all their glory..

... first and foremost, we have Billy.. "Billy Bastard"... when he comes over to shoot, half of the people leave... he is that good... we, as a group, have imposed a 5 shot rule on him... this means that once he arrives, he must slam 5 shots of Tequila, and wait 15 minutes before participating in the festivities... yes, he's that damn good... back in the 70's, he played pool professionally..

... rolling quickly along, we have my Archnemesis... "Steve the Biker"... covered in Tattoos... a true Zen Warrior.. and, King of the Draw... he's hard to beat.. but, I still manage to win roughly 25% of the games...

... next on my list of people who kick my ass every Wednesday is... "The Guy in the Witness Protection Program"... and his Son... he's been everywhere... done everything... and, can usually prove it.... with him, I win about 50% of the games...

... then, of course, there is Cousin B.. aka "Asshelmet"... a hard working Good Ole Boy... a dear friend... and, probably the only one who shows up that can out-drink me... although, when it comes to pool, I win about 85% of the games...

... another regular is Cousin B's friend.. "The Underestimating Good Ole Boy"... he's kinda like a "Cousin B-lite".. they work in the same profession, and both of them work hard for a living... but, on the pool table, he's easy meat...

... occasionally, Cousin C... aka "Big Daddy C".. attends... but, he's got 4 kids, so they keep him pretty busy... still, he's a fair hand on the pool table...

... so, there you have it, people... the roster of the miscreants who visit my humble home on Wednesday evenings... of course, there are various and sundry other outcasts who slither in from time to time... but, the ones listed above are the core followers... a finer cadre of individuals would be hard to find... anyway, enough of this... I gotta go... "The Guy in the Witness Protection Plan" just arrived... you'll get the results in the morning... as usual...

by Eric on May 19, 2004 | Bullshit (4) | Drinking
ยป Closet Extremist links with: Stuff I've been neglecting.
Bullshit So Far

Cousin B-lite? That is great!!!

Bullshitted by Sam on May 19, 2004 06:08 PM

..well, he's kinda like Cousin B... only half the stature and irritation... anyway, I kicked it last night.. some nights you are on.. others, well.. you should just watch instead of attempting to play...

Bullshitted by eric on May 20, 2004 03:49 PM

Good for you...you get an extra bowl of ice cream!!!

Bullshitted by Sam on May 20, 2004 06:21 PM

..no ice cream here, man... tonight, I'm on the 12 year old Highland Park... so, I guess that means I get an extra glass?...

Bullshitted by Eric on May 20, 2004 06:27 PM