2nd Joke of the Day...

.... an oldie.. .but a goodie.... and, something that I can, once again, identify with...

southern Baptist minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he then sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

by Eric on May 06, 2004 | Bullshit (3) | Jokes
Bullshit So Far

it is amazing how well southern Baptists manage not to recognize each other at the liquor store.

Bullshitted by tommy on May 6, 2004 09:00 PM

Or at Hooter's!

Bullshitted by Indigo on May 6, 2004 10:34 PM

It's fast and testimony meeting. Sister Smith walks up to the stand once again, like she does every month. You know the one - the lady that gives her "testimony" EVERY month, talking (or mostly crying) about everything under the sun... her ex husband never took out the trash, her poor cat got hit by a car, her sister-in-law's neighbor's second cousin got cancer, or whatever.

Anyway, she gets up this month and is especially out of control. She is boo-hooing so bad you can't understand a word she is saying. 10 minutes go by, then 15, then 20. Everyone is feeling uncomfortable, especially the Bishop. Finally, the Bishop can take no more.

He walks up to Sister Smith and puts his arm around to comfort her (and to try and wrap it up). Sister Smith, with tears streaming down her face says, "I'm sorry Bishop, I am such a big boob." The Bishop leans in to Sister Smith, inches away from the microphone, and says, "That's ok Sister Smith, I LIKE BIG BOOBS." The sacrament meeting ended 10 minutes early.

Bullshitted by gunner on May 6, 2004 10:51 PM